The Job of an SO

Maybe I’m overly optimistic, or naïve, or wear rose colored glasses, or any of the above clichés, which, for the record – no one has ever, ever used to describe me, but I simply can’t understand why anyone would not be supportive of someone transitioning. Even if you don’t understand it, which, oddly I suppose, came very easily to me, why can’t you support someone you love in doing what they know is best for them? Especially this. Do you think this is some easy decision to make? Do you think anyone would make this decision unless they felt so strongly about it, that they could not live without making these changes? Based on that evaluation alone you should understand that you have no choice but to unconditionally stand beside the one you love for anything they may need.

I sit here at work in tears, my stomach in my throat, and my hands not quite still to think that someone, anyone, could not support a decision made by someone they care for, just because it is not one familiar to them. Never mind my own personal life, but someone living a substantial part of their life assigned the incorrect gender should be met with applause and smiles when they come to terms with that and begin a process to overcome it.

Surgery? Surgery? To physically alter your body under these circumstances is not a physical alteration, so much as a correction, a necessary (to some), life fulfilling procedure which is much more than a “physical alteration.” It’s the least of any transgendered person’s worries, I would think. Yes, it’s dangerous. Yes, it’s invasive – it’s surgery. But isn’t it so much worse to live a life in which you perpetually feel uncomfortable … more than uncomfortable – alien, to yourself? Isn’t it a thousand times harder to wake up everyday, essentially lying to yourself and everyone else? Living every single day for your entire life not wanting it to be your life? I know that I can’t even come close to understanding what that must be like to go through, but I can understand that it is much harder when there are people who are close to you in your life telling you they cannot understand it, they cannot see it, and they don’t support it.

It just makes me so sad that something I see as a decision that is so healthy and beneficial and that takes amazing strength, someone else can see as harmful, destructive, and terrifying. It makes me so sad that it makes me upset to know how upset you will be hearing this, and I’m sorry I can’t do more to protect you from things you have no business dealing with. I only hope that everyone can find one person, just one, who loves them and who will support them and care for them through the entire process, and I hope that then you will keep this person in your life forever so that both of you may enjoy all of the time and effort and love that was put into getting you past the most unhappy times. Because, I promise, that person who supports you can do it for the rest of their lives and more if they truly love you, and they have what you need to get past all of the opposition you may meet.